Medical Malapropisms

These are some funny things we hear in the ER all the time from patients, following the incorrect term, is the correct one with the definition. Feel free to add ones you have heard! Of course I would not surprised if our president used a few of these!

1. “Administrations” or “‘ministrations” - for “menstruation”, as in “I’m having my ‘ministrations right now Doctor.”

2. “Seahorses in my Liver” - for “cirrhosis of the liver” , as in “Doc, my liver ain’t so good - I got seahorses”.

3. “Sugar” - for “diabetes”, as in ” Sugar runs in my family, Doc.”

4. “High Blood” - for “High Blood Pressure”, as in “How high is my blood?”

5. “Sick-as-Hell-Anaemia” - for “Sickle Cell Anaemia”, as in “I’m carrying the trait for Sick-as-Hell-Anaemia”

6. “Groins”- for “groin”, as in “Doc, there’s pains in my groins.”

7. “Weasling” - for “wheezing”, as in “My son was awake all night weasling.”

8. “Vomicking” - for “vomiting”, as in “I feel like I am about to vomick!”

9. “Water Pill” - for “diuretic”, as in “My doctor gave me a water pill so my legs don’t swell up.”

10. “Fluid” - for “Congestive Heart Failure”, as in ” I keep catching fluid so I can’t breathe.”

11. “Arthur-itis” - for “arthritis”, as in ” My joints hurt from my Arthur-itis.”

12. “Diarhear” - for “diarrhea”, as in “I’m having vomicking and diarhear.”